Thursday, January 17, 2008

I have more in my closet than just clothes...

I had to go back into my closet today, but when I came out, I felt better. For whatever reason, in my house I feel the presence of God more strongly in my closet than I do in any of the other rooms. Maybe because it is a such a small space and God really fills it and overflows out of it? Or maybe I just take the term "prayer closet" very literally?

At any rate, I go into the closet when I have heavy things on my heart and mind and I close the door and I sit there. Sometimes I rant and rave. Sometimes I just sit quietly and breathe. Sometimes I wait to hear what He has to say. Sometimes I don't hear anything over the sound of my heart breaking. Today, I was on my knees and asking God for what I need. I managed to quiet my mind enough to realize He was there. And for today, it was enough.

I don't go into the closet near as much as I should or even near as much as I need. Of course, I pray daily (can't go a day without protection), but until recently just did that here and there throughout the day. A series of events turned my daily shower into the place I now petition God from.

I have always taken long showers, but beyond knowing they were long, I didn't think much about it (I do like to be thoroughly clean). When it was pointed out to me that I take exceedingly long showers, I thought about why I did and I discovered the reason! I like to think. My mind can jump from topic to topic and I was getting some of my best thinking and planning and ideas while I was showering. It's kind of like multi-tasking. Plus, I don't really take time during the day just to think, so that was my time to think.

Well I decided in the effort of trying to take a shorter shower, I'd just have to stop taking the time to think and just focus on the task at hand. Lovely thought, but hard to do after years of free-thinking during that time. (I only decided to try to take shorter showers after realizing that I did kind of not want to shower due to the amount of time it was taking me.)

Anyway, with my husband going to work and having a rough time of it there, I decided he could not leave the house "unprotected" again. The logical prayer time would then be before he leaves the house, thus making my shower once again multi-purpose. (I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but praying seems to take up less time than free-thinking.)

There you have it. Oh, you're wondering when I now do my free-thinking? When I go for a walk, of course!

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